Road Trips

My blessing for you, fellow travelers, is: May all of your stoplights be green.  Obviously this blessing doesn't count if you are traveling by air or rail or Interstate.  We were on the road last weekend which led Trixsay to ask a few questions about automobile trips—

• Why are the on-ramps to Interstates that loop around major cities labeled east and west when you want to go south? 
• Why are the Rest Stops one mile beyond the convenience store you stopped at to use the restroom because you couldn't wait any longer?
• Why do you always arrive 15 minutes after a Visitor Center closes?
• Why does a patrol car cut across the median to follow you when you've been passed by 90%  of the cars you've noticed in your rear-view mirror?
• Why isn't there more stimulating roadside reading along some stretches of Interstates.  Reading Slow moving traffic keep right or Ice may form on bridges ten or more times is boring.  Whatever happened to Burma-Shave signs?
• Why do some drivers interpret the word ‘yield' as a challenge to force another driver to move over into a crowded fast lane? 
• Why do the best scenes appear when your camera is locked up in the trunk?
• Why do men plan vacations when women's periods are due so they will be PMSing half the time and bleeding the rest?
• Why are zoos filled on weekdays with seven preschoolers per adult?
• Why are tourist traps so obviously tourist traps?

A tourist shop in Kenya
by Jeter Skeet

• Why does a two-star motel room cost twice as much in the center of town?
• Why are we continually moving from one place to another—tasting, but not digesting?  Why are we never in one place long enough to amass details that could become a setting for a story? 

In conclusion, I would like to offer just one bit of advice to you, my fellow travelers.  Fill free to call that driver who cut in front of you nearly forcing you off the road a ‘fucking SOB.’