At the Helm-2

My Sea of Depression reflects gray skies. It has been this way for decades. I have long been searching for a way to cross that sea, but now Rivers of Infirmity flow into this briny deep.

Like a trawler caught in heavy waves, I'm rocking and rolling to ride out the pain. But Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromyalgia have tangled me in their nets, robbing me of both the energy and mobility I need to stay afloat.

Can you see me writing—

Today is dreary. Rain is falling. I soaked my knees in pain patches last night. My sleep was interrupted once by a thunderstorm and twice by cats licking my fingers.  I woke into a fibro-fog from loss of sleep.  I don’t expect to get much done today.

But I’m sitting in the café at Barnes and Noble’s writing this piece.  I’m wondering if I may have discovered my Bridge over Troubled Waters.  It is not a passageway. No passageway could stretch across this vast sea.

It is a bridge where Captain Kirk might have stood, where I can steer my body across the sea and up the rivers guided by suns and moons and the planet Earth (even though I’m often asleep when these stars are out).

Instead, see me writing—

Ghosts are out this morning.  I watched them walk about in a gray cloud.  I wonder if I should take my camera with me to photograph those ghosts—skeletal trees wearing tiny leaf buds, light poles fading into silhouettes, an SUV disappearing into a time-warp.  Fog is a natural filter.

If I navigate the world along the coast and beaches of my sea, my observations sometimes lead to words--and at other times, to pixels.  Like a ship’s pilot, I will learn to steer around the reefs or icebergs or other ships that inhabit the coastline.

I have learned that when my mind is focused outside myself, I’m unaware of aches and pains, of a future in which I can no longer control a pen or press a shutter button or walk through the woods in springtime.

Spotted Hyena spying on photographers
Kenya, 2007, by Jeter Skeet

PS.  I have had some problems with this post because of Trixsay’s inconsistent metaphors.  When I tried to revise it, Humdrum took over.  I hope this version is an intelligible compromise.